Nonverbal Communication

Les copio otro de mis artículos para la clase de internet.



Mandarin is so impossible, that after four months of language lessons I can only talk about family, hobbies, and studying Chinese--so for my everyday communication with locals I depend heavily on nonverbal cues. Coming from another collectivistic society, I thought it would only be a matter of time before I could begin to understand the Chinese communication style. After four months in this country, I still struggle to interpret even the most basic cues. I cannot project my experience upon locals; in order to understand how they communicate, I need further exposure to their culture. Until then, I will continue to live in a fascinating but frustrating limbo of misunderstandings and desperate hand gestures.

The prevailing influence of Confucianism and the collectivistic nature of the culture have bred a very structured and distinct repertoire of nonverbal cues. The legacy of a shared history and (for the most part) a common ethnicity magnifies this effect, making nonverbal communication extremely hard for outsiders to interpret, but really useful and meaningful for locals. From what I have observed, Chinese people convey much meaning very efficiently using nonverbal cues. The only problem is, I can’t understand what they are communicating.

When we first arrived, our contact with locals was basically limited to taxi cab drivers, and fuwuyuans (waiters.) We had to communicate very basic concepts--a dish or a destination--so we didn’t have to worry that much about misunderstandings over subtleties. Sometimes we confused nervous laughter with celebrations of our jokes; some Beijing taxi drivers probably hate us for that. Mostly though, we were labeled as foreigners and excused for our ignorance.

When we started befriending Chinese students and having tutoring lessons, things got a bit more complicated. Chinese people have a totally different concept of proxemics and appropriate signs of affection--even if they don’t know you that well they stand very close to you, embrace you, and link arms with you. As a Latin American, I am used to a more limited personal space than Americans, but this went way and beyond my comfort zone. I began to question my friend’s intentions. Why were they so eager to befriend me? What did they expect of me? And with boys, did they like me? I still feel a little uncomfortable at times, but I have come to accept it. With people I care for, sometimes I think it is cute.

Another issue that surfaced was the level of expressiveness. Latin American communication is a superlative; we change tones, gesture profusely, exaggerate facial expressions, and chatter away. Americans don’t do so as much, but I have learned to tone down my standards when I translate their nonverbal cues, and it seems to work fairly well. The Chinese are another story. They admire restraint, so they gave me no input to work with. This was fine when dealing with waitresses and taxi drivers, but when I was trying to figure out if my friends were upset, it was really frustrating.

The worst thing was trying to interpret silences. When faced with an uncomfortable question or statement, some Chinese people choose to remain silent. But when this is a pressing issue and you don’t have the necessary experience to interpret their silence, what are you supposed to do? Even though I know it is not disrespectful in this culture, I find it hard not to get offended.

I still feel as lost as the day I arrived in Beijing, but I figure an easy way to quantify my progress is analyzing my interaction with the people in the markets. Sellers will begin by presenting you their worst quality goods for completely unreasonable prices. When bargaining with them, what they say does not matter--you can only call their bluff based on nonverbal cues. I used to be horrible at it and would get scammed if Ana Maria did not come with me. Last week, my parents came to Beijing and I took them to the market. I was considerably better than them.